“You don’t need any more motivation. You don’t need to be inspired to action.”
These were the statements that introduced an article I read recently (may be worth reading it for context) . It was one of those motivational-type pieces – reminding everyone who read it that it was okay to “just be”. Now, I have no issue with “just being” – in fact, I am pretty sure it’s impossible to not be – but it also had an air of complacency and that worried me.
People who find solace in those types of articles are often unhappy. If you are happy with your life and the situations that frequent it, you probably wouldn’t be clicking on articles entitled “To all those who think they’re falling behind in life.”
It’s quite difficult to write a response without coming across as an asshole, but I feel that those who actually think that they are falling behind need a little practical motivation – rather than a bunch of paragraphs explaining that it’s okay to embrace being human. So this is an article for those who feel that they are falling behind…and want to do something about it. I have referenced points from the above-mentioned article and used them as a springboard for response. If you’re falling behind and are happy about it – read no further.
The first step is to figure out what is causing that sinking feeling in the waking hours of the morning, then work on changing it.
Easier said than done?
It’s meant to be. Pinterest quotes and inspirational articles (this one included) will not flip a switch in our brains causing us to suddenly change our lives. It may, however, be the last bit of inspiration needed to begin taking action. It may not too, but they are intended to inspire action, not create it.
“Action” is the operative word. It’s up to you to decide to turn inspiration into something tangible; it requires effort.
Emphasis is often misplaced. Yes, “you are as you are until you are not” but timing is not going to change it for you. Nor will deciding to do something about it. Doing something about it will; the timing is never going to be perfect.
“Give yourself permission to be human.”
These vague, wish-washy, pseudo-philosophical statements litter social media but offer little practical assistance. Life is tough. It isn’t meant to be easy. No one has it all figured out, despite the countless claims. You don’t get to control everything. Sometimes you get sick, sometimes you lose someone you love. Sometimes you have a year of bad luck and sometimes you get a lucky break. Here’s the thing: humans are the only ones that believe in luck.
Life doesn’t categorise events into good and bad, and dish them out to people it thinks are deserving. Beyond the human perspective, they are just events – neutral events. Our problem is that we take life personally; our self-importance cripples us.
The main difference between humans and other animals is our existential capacity. All that does is make life seem vastly more complicated than it is. Life doesn’t pick on anyone. So we will encounter events that we have no control over and believe that we have been dealt a bad hand. The thing is, we are in control of how we respond to it. We can also choose to not respond – there’s nothing wrong with that – but that means our situation will probably not improve.
Everyone knows how to get into shape. Everyone knows how to eat healthy. Everyone knows how to be a decent person. It’s all pretty simple, but it isn’t easy.
We are human whether we give ourselves permission or not. Everything is okay. In the grand scheme it really is all fine. But is ‘fine’ enjoyable? What are you happy with? It’s relative – some people are happy being alone on a couch, consuming chips at a rapid rate and washing them down with coke zero. However, lonesome maize binges aren’t the cause of the unhappiness – doing that while wanting something else is.
You can game the system of your life, but again, it requires effort. Getting up at 5am until you are tired and broken won’t improve your life, but spending that time learning an instrument might. Again, the emphasis is misplaced. It is the same thinking that underpins the difference between being effective and being busy.
Accepting yourself and wanting to be better are not mutually exclusive.
“We are as we are until we are not” and “we’re the same until we change” are fundamentally obvious statements. Newton proved it mathematically: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. The object is your situation, and we are the external force. We can change it. Why surrender that?
Our lives are our responsibility whether we accept it or not. Accepting it simply gives us the power to begin changing it.
“There is a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand.” Maybe there is. But I guarantee it will be more effective if you meet it half way.
The article in question, and articles like it, are really comforting. It’s nice to know that someone else feels like life is hard. It’s nice to think that things will just work out. It makes us feel better about whatever we are struggling with. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t – but doing something increases the odds that it will. Doing nothing is fine, provided you can deal with the consequences. That is the point.
At the end of the day it’s true, you do need to stop listening to people who tell you that you’re not doing enough. And, yes, stop hating yourself – it is a waste of energy. What makes you happy? You do. It’s a choice.
Do something or don’t, but one will likely change your life.
some reveries 